A regret
by Ann2011
Summary: When you've got too much time on your hands, one ends up thinking alot. Set around chapter 51 but not really.


_Note: _**This is a little more darker and dramatic then my other fic. It kinda wrote itself!:D Thanks to darkangel6767 for encouraging me!:D And to everyone who reviewed my last fic!:D**

**I wanted it to be a lemon fic a lot, but I couldn't do it in the end, I was afraid it wouldn't be good! So, hopefully this is!:D Okay, Enjoy!:D Maybe I will do a lemon next time? **

Disclaimer**: I don't own Vampire Knight nor the characters (but I wish I had Zero or Kaname!:D)**

**A Regret**

She watched her brothers retreating back with a dazzling smile until the large doors of the Kuran Mansion entrance closed. Once the resulting bang was echoing through the halls, the young pureblood turned slowly and climbed up the stairs, her smile shrinking.

She treaded softly into her room with bare feet, her light pink dressing gown making her look like a gracefully floating pink ghost.

It was fine now; she could once again be alone in with her thoughts. As she always was, and probably always would be. It was a whole year, and she still hasn't spoken to anyone she knew in her human life. She forgot what Yori looked like and to her horror the chairman's cheerful, comforting voice was fading. Heaven help her, she would never admit it to Kaname, but she even missed that bad tempered, yet sweet man, who once trusted her so much, who never left her side. She was never alone as a human. And the one person she rarely every spoke too, was suddenly the only person she ever saw. Besides a few of the night class, but they were more people she never talked to, more people would came and left whenever the wished. She loved her brother, she knew she couldn't live without him in so many ways, but it was days like this when she really thought she a doll in a box, waiting and waiting to be let out.

_No_! _Stop complaining! You were given a choice and will_ not _turn around and say you're bored and want to go back to a stupid, useless human. You wanted this!_

She was just so _bored _and _lonely_. She went from going shopping with Yori and walking around the grounds with Zero, to sitting in a huge mansion alone, thinking all the time. Just thinking. She wasn't allowed to help any of the maids either, which made her even more bored.

Her heart lurched painfully, her eyes watering slightly as the feeling of over whelming misery and loneliness just continued to build within her. She always kept quiet though. She would not regret anything.

She flopped down on her bed and lay down on it, looking up the ceiling. Her large brown eyes followed the ceilings cravings, until they became unfocused. Yuuki Kuran began to drift in her memories, not realising her room had disappeared, and she materialized into a familiar sitting room, sitted at a round table, with books scattered before her.

Yuuki let herself mentally go, and she drifted to the past, remembering a time when she was needed, when she was hardly alone. When she… believed she knew herself.

_-Flashback-_

The soft, however audible chirps from the creatures of the night lingered within the quiet sitting room. Two young children sat together at a round table, books, pens and copies littered on every inch. The young girl chewed the end of her pen as though there was something desirable inside. Her fingers drummed loudly on the table, the unbearable feeling of failure and irritation getting the better of her.

The window was currently wide open and the temperature hit freezing for the short brunette. However the rooms other occupant was beginning to sweat with fevered distress. A wheezy, painful coughing fit stormed through the young hunter's body, his lungs crushed from the pressure and his stomach tighting in agony. It took a few minutes before the ragged coughing ceased, air finally making its way into the shivering body though deep inhales.

When he looked over at the brunette he was caught with a concerned gaze watching him, worry etched on her face beside him.

"Zero?" Yuuki lowered her pen from her mouth, a horrid feeling of dread crushing her heart. It had been three days now and he was only getting worse. If he wasn't better by the morning Yuuki swore she would drag his annoying behind to the doctors one way or another. Her eyes scanned Zero's face searchingly, as if they could spot something wrong with X-Ray vision. She realised the young vampire was trembling and the usual pale face was now flushed bright red and was sweaty.

Her heart ached for the suffering boy before her. She quickly rose from the chair and cupped the side of zeros face in one hand. She was alarmed at how and sweaty the cheek was. Zero's overly bright amethyst eyes widened as they locked into her narrowed brown ones.

"Tell me the truth this time! Are you alright?" Her voice came out a little harsher then intended. Immediately she caressed the hot skin gently, one hand tenderly raking the sweaty hair back. Zero's gaze dropped a look of disgust clearly visible. Yuuki knew Zero hated giving up on anything, but it was obvious he felt like crap right now.

"I'm fine Yuuki, quit annoy-!" He broke off when her large eyes narrowed to slits. If looks could kill… He sighed and rubbed the side of his face.

"No." His whisper was just about heard to the prefect. Carefully, Yuuki wrapped her arms around his neck, gently rocking him side to side. She hated seeing someone she cared about so sick and she loathed being unable to help. Her heart pounding with worry and fear motivated her to think clearly on how she should treat this boy. His heavy breathing was loud next to her ear and it only scared her more. What was wrong with him?

"Come on, let's get you to bed." She loosed her grip, only to be pulled back in again, for only a brief moment. Strong arms kept her prisoner in the bear hug. Without warning, he let go and stood, swaying slightly.

"I'll go. Finish your work." Yuuki let out a snort, putting her hands on her hips ion frustration.

"No way! At this stage if the teacher actually thought I was going to do all my homework then he must have had a brain transplant! Come on, link your arm with mine!" He hesitated a moment, before reluctantly slipping his arm into Yuuki's smaller one. He had to bend slightly as he was taller, but he didn't mind. His head was starting to ache like hell and his stomach was churning. He never felt so sick.

Slowly they walked up to Zero's room and Yuuki unlinked her arm for Zero to flop down on the bed. He groaned and raked a sweaty hand through his hair.

"Dammit! My head!" He placed his face into the pillow and curled his arms around his stomach. He began to cough again; his whole body tensing with each 's heart went out for him. She sat next to his on the bed and rubbed comforting circles on his back. She stayed like that for a while, listening to Zeros breathing. It was slightly wheezy and deep.

"I'm going to get you a glass of water. You get into the bed." He nodded but made no attempt to move.

She left the room quickly and ran into the kitchen, hastily pouring water in a glass. What was wrong with him? Vampires didn't usually get sick, if they ever did. Was he hungry? But they weren't the symptoms.

Then it hit her. Three days ago, Lily hurt her foot and Yuuki found Zero, after worrying about him for an entire night, wondering where his was while there was a _storm _going on, curled up in a ball, fast asleep.

Her heart flipped painfully. That's what it is! He's probably got pneumonia or something. No more spending night's camping out with Lily anymore!

Yuuki took the glass and hurried up to Zero's room. Once she reached the door frame, her body jumped in fright. She heard him retching. _Oh no!_

"Zero? Zero, are you okay?" She walked into the bathroom and froze, shock rooting her to the spot. Zero was leaning over the sink, his body bent and his hair in his eyes. One hand curled around his stomach and the other gripped the sink for support. Yuuki gasped.

"Zero!" She ran to his side, hands coming up to grip his arms from behind. Zero had stopped retching, but he still gasped for air. "Did you try the blood tablets? Are you hungry?" Zero nodded, but stopped and the shook his head.

"N-No… but I though I was." She gently gripped his strong arms and pulled him back from the sink and into his room. She turned around so she could face him and gently lead him to sit on the bed. She used her hand to guild zero's head upwards so that he looked up.

He was now so pale it was frightening. He eyes were far to over bright and he trembled like a vibrating phone. _I'll call the doctor. _She though worriedly. Why of all days did the chairman chose today to go to that meeting?

Zero's head fell when she removed the hand. He felt horrible. He was hot and cold at the same time, and his head was trying to kill him with this pain. His chest was so tight, he thought it was blood lust, but he didn't feel hungry. Just tired. There was one thing he thought it could be, but didn't dare tell Yuuki incase she went berserk and stopped him next time. After that stormy night he spent with Lily he slowly began to feel terrible, tired and weak. He had a cold once before and he guessed he had it again, only worse. But Vampires didn't usually get sick, did they? _Just my luck, as always. _He thought bitterly to himself.

No one moved for a few moments. Then without a warning, Yuuki straightened up, walking back to the bathroom were she left the glass of water on the sick, while undoing her blouse buttons. She sat next to him and carefully pulled his face to her neck.

"Have the water first and then have a little bit of blood. It might help." She brought the glass up the Zeros lips and the young hunter grasped the glass and tipped it back. It was gone in a second, but zero noticed how relieved he felt once he drank it.

His gaze then fell on Yuuki's long, soft, glowing neck. His felt his water at the sight of the blood flowing gracefully in those delicious looking veins. His fangs began to extend painfully, seeking the relief to sink themselves into her flesh.

He glanced into Yuuki's eyes and realised his eyes must be glowing crimson at this stage. He waited until she approved. In the next moment, she smiled.

"What are you waiting for? I haven't got all day to play the "lets stare without blinking" game." She laughed, music to Zero's ears. She yanked at her blouse, and turned her head away from him, so that she felt a very mouth watering sight before him.

"Drink." Her command was low and slightly seductive. Zero didn't think he could have refused.

He leaned in, arms circling around the young prefect's waist. His mouth was centimetres away from hers. Slowly, he dipped his tongue out and gently licked her neck from shoulder to ear. He grinned at delight as she shivered in response.

"Z-Zero." She moaned quietly, her hand gripping Zero's arm. Zero continued to lick slowly until she was groaned in frustration. "Zero!"

He laughed, bringing his head up, his hand cupping Yuuki's cheek and tenderly brought her face to his.

"I'm just making sure you enjoy this. I am." His voice melted into a husky tone at the end, causing Yuuki's brain to blank for a moment. Her heart started to thump hard against her ribcage and her palms suddenly began to sweat. She couldn't control a deep shade of pink that had stained her cheeks.

"You're not so sick anymore." She accused, her voice shaking slightly. It was sort of true. He was still trembling, his face was red and her eyes were very over bright. But somehow, he looked a lot better than he did.

"Must be you." He whispered.

Zero then dipped his head back to the side of Yuuki's neck and licked it slowly one more time, his heart singing as he felt Yuuki vibrate against him. He then pressed the razor sharp fangs against her sensitive flesh and sunk them in deeply.

The feeling of her skin becoming penetrated was painful but not unpleasant and she gasped as a strange feeling flooded from her heart and rushed around her body. The feeling of Zero drinking from her slowly, his arms wrapped around her protectively… it was a good thing she was sitting down.

It was a few minutes later before she felt herself become limp and tired. She was about to say something before Zero slowly withdrew his fangs from her neck. It was a weird but not yet again not unpleasant feeling. She bit her lip against the groans as Zero's wet, warm tongue and gentle light lips cleaned up the remaining blood until the two punctured holes had stopped bleeding. He raised his head and rested his forehead on her shoulder. All pleasant feelings vanished and worry seemed to punch her in the stomach. What was wrong?

"Zero? You okay?" She leaned back so that she could take her arms out of his grasp and bring her hands to cup Zero's face. His fringe was covering his eyes making it hard to see his expression.

"Hello, earth to Mr. Annoying?" The tease worked and Zero raised his gaze to lock with hers. His eyes… they weren't over bright anymore…but hard and angry looking.

Yuuki released his cheeks and put her hands on her hips in a dignity. "What's with that face? My bloods not satisfying anymore?" She tried to smile a–come-on-and-fight-back smile but he just shook his hand. He shifted on the bed so that he sat on the edge, his hands now on his lap.

"When Ichiru was sick… I usually just gave him his medicine." Yuuki froze, not knowing what to say. Zero's head had dropped again. Why was he suddenly telling her this?

"He had to suffer. Yet, I drink blood like a disgusting animal and I get better right away." He raked a hand through his hair, his eyes pressed shut. He felt a lot better, but he didn't know why he thought of Ichiru and without warning, he just felt so guilty. Being a stupid vampire…it made him sick.

Yuuki sighed, shaking her head. Zero was something wasn't he? One minute he's happy and playing with her and the next he feels guilty about it? Well, she was getting somewhere a few minutes ago and she wanted to go more. Still sitting on the bed, she went behind him and wrapped her arms around him so that her hands clasped at his chest. He couldn't move now!... Well he could, but she wouldn't let him.

"Zero, your such a drama queen. I think you're still sick. It's a rare illness called "Un-pleaseable-itis" Zero grinned, a small chuckle reluctantly escaping his lips. Yuuki pressed on. "Ichiru may have suffered. But I'm sure he was still happy. Your just lucky im a willing donor, that's all." Zero didn't move for a moment. Then, in the next instant, he turned with vampire speed so that Yuuki lay beneath him. Completely confused, she was frozen. Her chocolate brown eyes widened up at the vampire in shock. More from the way he was looking at her than anything else.

His amethyst eyes softened and glowed, looking at her like a child would at a kitten, like it was the perfect one. He placed his hands on either side of her face so that he was half kneeling on the bed and half standing. Yuuki's heart once again jumped so hard it might have jumped out of her body. He was… she couldn't believe it, but he was so handsome. Beautiful soft, bouncy sliver hair that matched his cute eyes and the dazzling ear-ring on the tip top of his ear. She couldn't explain why, but she felt extremely self-conscious and wanted to run away. But she was rooted to the spot.

Zero gently caressed her cheek, her gaze never leaving hers.

"You're right." He murmured. "I am lucky." Without a warning, he dipped his head and tenderly kissed her forehead. Yuuki gasped in gut churning shock. _What!_ Her heart clenched tight and then burst out with hard thumps against her chest, emotions she hardly knew gushing inside like a broken dam. She was sure Zero could hear her heart pounding against his chest. She suddenly felt alarmingly light headed and frozen, her mind hazy and blank.

Before she could analyse anything, Zero raised his head and looked down at her with solemn, sorrowful eyes. Her heart lurched again, but she couldn't move.

He drew and a shaky breath and dropped his gaze.

"And you're wrong." He breathed in a hushed manor. "How can I be lucky when I can't have the one thing I want? When that one thing wants someone else?"

Yuuki was… she didn't know what she was. Shocked? Confused? A little scared? She was them all and more. What was he saying?

But before she could ask, Zero pushed himself off the bed and straightened. His hands clenched into fists at his side. He no longer looked sick, despite the fact he was till warm and shaking, but he also didn't look happy or gentle either.

He looked away from her, his head still bowed. Yuuki slowly raised herself from lying position and sat up. The room was stony silent for a long time. The Zero started to walk towards the bathroom, swaying slightly. Yuuki decided to stop him as his walking looked dangerously staggerish.

"Zero?" She came up behind him and caught his right arm. She gasped as she glanced into his face. He was pale. She moved so that she was before him, her hands clasping either arm.

"Less talk more sleep. Come on Zero." She led him to his bed and pulled over the covers. He strangely made no attempt to resist, however he remained stoically quiet. He slid into the bed and allowed yuuki to pull off his shoes. He lay back and closed his eyes.

"Headache." He groaned. Yuuki pulled the covers over him and began to slowly, tenderly and gently pat his head repeatedly. She felt Zero relax under her touch and decided to forget about his earlier statement. It could wait.

"It's because your tired." She muttered quietly, her voice warm and full of care.

Zero could feel himself quickly drifting off. But he wanted to talk, tell her more. He forced his aching eyes open and searched for Yuuki's trusting, kind, beautiful brown ones. But everything was a foggy blur and he knew he couldn't fight it, he couldn't feel his arms.

He murmured sleepily. He couldn't think, his mind was slowly going into the dark. _No! _

"I…" He murmured sleepily. He couldn't think, his mind was slowly going into the dark. _No! _

It was to late. Sweet, peaceful darkness had engulfed him. Zero's mouth stayed open as his breathing suddenly became even and loud.

Yuuki stayed in his room a little while after that, watching the sleeping man before her. Her heart was beating painfully within her, as confusion and want circled around and around. Her head was a mess, nothing made sense. Should she ask him what did he mean or leave it?

Once she was on her own bed after an hour or so she decided to ask him. But the next day, Zero was up before her and was whistling over a frying pan when she walked into the kitchen. He looked a hell of a lot better and happier too. He made her breakfast and chatted away to her at breakfast. Every time she tried to ask, her throat would dry up and a lump would grow, resulting in her words disappearing.

In the end, she never did. When breakfast was over Zero went to get his uniform on, but not before placing a gentle hand on her shoulder and muttering a genuine "Thank you Yuuki, for everything."

_-End Flashback-_

The white ceiling began to come into focus as Yuuki drifted back into the present. A hole must have drilled itself into her heart while she was dreaming because she suddenly felt so broken. She lay out on the sheets like a sprawled rag doll, suddenly feeling very restless and irritated. _Damn it to hell! Why did I think of that!_

She rolled onto her side, her hands clutching at her head, trying to control the mounting tension building there. That was one thing she regretted. She never asked what it was he wanted to say. She really did wait… until it was too late. Now he hated her. Heck, he wanted to _kill _her. But it was her fault and she knew it. She avoided him and never pressed forward.

And what scared her the most? She wished she had. _What a back-stabbing traitor. _A voice whispered coldly in the foggy haze of her mind. _Poor Kaname. _

She was going to scream. However, in the next instant, the door was flung open and crashed against the wall hard enough to cause a hole. Yuuki didn't move.

"There you are!" A relieved yet angry voice hissed in front of her. Yuuki rolled her eyes and raised herself from the bed, jumping off it with graceful ease. Before her was a tallish, blonde haired boy with startling blue eyes and quite a muscular frame. His expression, however, was furious.

"And _why _are you still undressed? Its seven in the afternoon!" He strode over to the desk, next to the bed and dropped the stack of books he was carrying on it. He turned when he got no reply.

Yuuki's eyes were downcast, and her dark bangs covering her eyes. She looked… miserable. Hanabusa couldn't blame her and his gaze softened.

"What's up?" He asked quietly. But Yuuki just turned and walked into her bathroom, her head never looking up.

"Its nothing."

What could be a hundred miles away from Kuran Manor, was a small house located to left of the grounds of Cross Academy. Inside was a tall, slim yet strong hunter, kneeling down next to the fire in the sitting room. He held a picture in his shaking hand. If anyone looked at him, they might have thought he was a little upset. But if a very observant person was to study him, they would conclude that this man was suffering and was a completely broken man.

The brown haired girl in the photo smiled warmly up at him, her hand held up in a peace sign. Her dark eyes grinned at him mischievously, sparkling with carefree happiness.

His heart lurched. He felt so empty, but he was in so much pain? In more ways than one. His chest tightened uncomfortably and he knew why. He didn't care, he'd just shovel a load of tables down and he'd be alright. In one way.

Glad that no one was with him, as he had reluctantly came here on a request from the chairman, he accidently found this photo when he was searching for a book to read in the press. He knew the chairman couldn't throw away the photo's…but why did he leave them around the place?

He exhaled miserably and clutched the photo hard into his palm. His head bowed, his struggled against the heart ache.

"Yuuki… I'm sorry." Zero Kiryuu whispered wretchedly. "I love you."

It might have been because he was too wrapped up in his thoughts, or it might have been that his eyes had blurred slightly, but whatever the reason, he didn't see the tall, brownish blonde haired man watching him with sad, sympathetic eyes.


End file.
